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CALLS RECEIVED AT THE PUBLIC GOLF COURSE

Home •• Golf Blog •• Chase •• CALLS RECEIVED AT THE PUBLIC GOLF COURSE

Posted August 18, 2009
Tags: funny

CALLS RECEIVED AT THE PUBLIC GOLF COURSE ( Amherst , Mass. )


  Staff:      Golf course, may I help you?
  Caller:    What are your green fees?
  Staff:     38 dollars.
  Caller:   Does that include golf?


  Staff:      Golf course, may I help you?
  Caller:    Yes, I need to get some information from you.  First, is this
              your correct phone number?


  Staff:      Golf course, may I help you?
  Caller:    Yes, we have a tee time for two weeks from Friday. What's the
              weather going to be like that day?


  Staff:      Golf course, may I help you?
  Caller:    Yes, I had a tee time for this afternoon but I'm running late.
              Can you still get me out early?


  Staff:      Golf course, may I help you?
  Caller:    Yes, do you have one of those areas where you can buy a bucket of
              golf balls and hit them for practice?
  Staff:     You mean a driving range?
  Caller:   No, that's not it..,,,


  Staff:      Golf course, may I help you?
  Caller:    Yes, I'd like to get a tee time tomorrow between 12
o'clock and noon.
  Staff:      Between 12 o'clock and noon?
  Caller:    Yes.
  Staff:      We'll try to squeeze you in.


  Staff:      Golf course, may I help you?
  Caller:    Do you have any open tee times around 10 o'clock?
  Staff:      Yes, we have one at 10:15.
  Caller:    What's the next time after that?
  Staff:      We have one at 10:22.
  Caller:    We'll take that one. It will be a bit warmer.

  Staff:     Golf course, may I help you?
  Caller:   How much to play golf today?
  Staff:     25 to walk, 38 with a cart.
  Caller:   38 dollars?
  Staff:     No, 38 yen.


  Staff:     Golf course, may I help you?
  Caller:   What do you have for tee times tomorrow?
  Staff:     What time would you like?
  Caller:   What times do you have?
  Staff:     What time of the day?
  Caller:   Any time.
  Staff:     Morning or afternoon?
  Caller:   Whenever.
  Staff:     We have 16 times open in the morning and 20 open in the
               afternoon.  Would you like me to read the whole list?
  Caller:   No, I don't think any of those times will work for me.


  Staff:     Golf course, may I help you?
  Caller:   Do you have a dress code?
  Staff:     Yes, we do. We require soft spikes.
  Caller:   How about clothes?
  Staff:     Yes, you have to wear clothes.


  Staff:     Golf course, may I help you?
  Caller:   Yes, do you have a driving range there?
  Staff:     Yes.
  Caller:   How much for a bucket of large balls?
  Staff:     Sorry, we're all out of large balls. But we can give you twice
              as many small balls for the same price.


  Staff:     Golf course, may I help you?
  Caller:   Can I get a tee time for tomorrow?
  Staff:     Sure, what time would you like?
  Caller:   Something between 9 o'clock and 10 o'clock.  In the morning, if
             possible.


  Staff:     Golf course, may I help you?
  Caller:   Do you rent golf clubs there?
  Staff:     Yes, they're 25 dollars.
  Caller:   How much to rent a bag?


  Staff:     Golf course, may I help you?
  Caller:   Yes, my husband just called me on his cell phone and told me he's
              on the 15th hole.
              How many more holes does he have to play before he gets to the 18th?


  Staff:     Golf course, may I help you?
  Caller:   Yes, do you have a driving range there?
  Staff:     Yes.
  Caller:   How much for a large bucket?
  Staff:     Four dollars.
  Caller:   Does that include the balls?


  Staff:     Golf course, may I help you?
  Caller:   Do you have a twilight rate?
  Staff:     Yes, it's 15 dollars after 2 o'clock.
  Caller:   And what time does that start?


  Staff:     Golf course, may I help you?
  Caller:   Yes, I'd like some info about your golf course.
  Staff:     OK, what would you like to know?
  Caller:   I don't know, that's why I called.


  Staff:    Golf course, may I help you?
  Caller:  My kids just came home with pockets full of range balls and said
            they stole them from your driving range.  Would you like to buy them back? 



983 Views • 65 Likes • 2 Dislikes • What do you think?    I like it!
Comments (38)

PatrickThomas August 28, 2010
Obviously, these folks need to be recipients of the Darwin award...LOL

DanielGarcia July 15, 2010
so funny!

cogolfer1 July 12, 2010
Nice read

memike January 9, 2010
Funny stuff!!

slingshotg December 22, 2009
funny

chrisbrown512009 October 30, 2009
interesting, we need high quality clubs with reasonable price, firstrankgolf

RasTim September 14, 2009
Funny thing is i bet most golf courses get these kinds of calls all the time.

busdriver September 12, 2009
so funny

jnorthrup15 September 6, 2009
nice

asaling September 1, 2009
good stuff

howasam August 31, 2009
very funny this is

Bogeyman90 August 28, 2009
lol, needed that thanks

davis1019 August 24, 2009
Some really good ones in there. Enjoyed the reading; nice to put on a smile when at the office working.

cogolfer1 August 23, 2009
That's really funny.

harper1270 August 21, 2009
too funny.....lol
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